Why I’m Building Bridges: Kathryn Harnish
Last fall, I ran as the Democratic candidate for the Maine House District 144, a conservative rural district that comprises Houlton and much of southern Aroostook County. I’ll admit: I was nervous at first, knowing that my decision to run would force challenging conversations with people who hold quite different political perspectives from mine. On my first trip through The County, my dad, who was my constant campaign companion, joked that I was wearing my new running shoes for good reason.
As it turned out, the running shoes were completely unnecessary. In reaching out with a genuine interest in what makes meaning in people’s lives and responding with empathy, people began to open up. I was humbled to hear not only their middle-of-the-night worries but the dreams that inspire their waking hours. Regardless of the signs we place on our lawns, we have a shared set of deeply human concerns and hopes – the desire to build a good life for our families; to enjoy the fruits of our hard work; to live in vibrant, healthy communities; and to save for a comfortable retirement. When we center on what moves us daily rather than the politicized rhetoric that divides us, we’re not so different. And that gives us a foundation for meaningful discussion, mutual understanding, and, eventually, cooperation in achieving a shared vision for what this world can be.
When I learned that a group of Mainers was starting conversations about how to build bridges across the political divide, I was in. And even though I worked hard in my campaign to listen to my neighbors in a spirit of openness and respect, it’s really been through my work with Building Bridges and participation in several Braver Angels workshops that I’ve grown. For the first time in a long time, I’m at peace with my ideas…and the knowledge that other people have other ideas. And that’s really OK. I can hold fast in my values and beliefs without stereotyping, dismissing, ridiculing, or holding in contempt those who feel differently - and I know I’ve been guilty of this in the past. I don’t have to give up anything in which I believe to reach out with a genuine interest in understanding others; I can fight for what I believe in while also holding space for others, maintaining respect, compassion, and positive regard no matter who those people are. I’m not fighting on the Bangor Daily News page (well, not quite as much) anymore. I don’t feel so compelled to convince people of my arguments, although the librarian in me still wants to point out facts. I honestly feel better prepared to build healthier relationships in my community and better able to listen and learn in a professional capacity. I’m grateful for the opportunity to partner with like-minded folks across the political spectrum who inspire me, challenge me, and hold me accountable as I engage with others in this time of incredible polarization.